Five A's of Love by Dr. Esther J. Esteban

It being Valentine's week,  I found  in Facebook various tips on how to spend February 14,  as well as  dedications and greetings, and some tongue-in-cheek definitions of ideal marital partners.

Dr. Esther J. Esteban. Source

In this setting,   I would like to share  a  new  way of remembering the elements of love.   I learned about  this last Saturday,  when I had the privilege to attend a  talk by Dr. Esther J. Esteban at San Beda College Alabang. Dr. Esteban is a  Catholic Mass Media Awardee for her book  "The Work of Children"  and her website "Parenting Work Values."

Dr. Esteban defined the five A's of Love  in the context of parenting:

• ATTENTION.   When a  child receives attention,  he feels valuable.
• AFFECTION.  When a child receives affection, he feels lovable.
• AFFIRMATION.  When a child receives affirmation, he feels responsible.
• ACCEPTANCE.  When a child receives  acceptance, he feels respectable.
• APPRECIATION. When a child receives appreciation, he feels capable.

My take on this is that  for a child to learn the five A's  by heart,   he has to  learn it vicariously-- from the examples of his parents-- not only in the way the parents relate to the the child but  also in how each parent relates to each other.    

To me, Valentine's comes once a year to remind spouses,   special friends and partners to give  each other attention, affection, affirmation, acceptance and appreciation.  And hopefully,  happy memories are relived and feelings are rekindled  each day of the year.